Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
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Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
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Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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