how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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