Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
