theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
