Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
