I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Randomize
