More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize