when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
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I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
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Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay