I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys