9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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