Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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