Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes. http://tfl.nu/jq79

Replies (9) Good night (638) Bad night (3590)
Favorite
(305): View more from Florida

he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(305): he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me. http://tfl.nu/04rv

Replies (32) Good night (5295) Bad night (1985)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies http://tfl.nu/d8pj

Replies (34) Good night (7281) Bad night (1041)
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow http://tfl.nu/jea1

Replies (18) Good night (4266) Bad night (1130)
Favorite
(520): View more from Arizona

So you had sex with my brother?

(1-520): View more from Arizona

It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(520): So you had sex with my brother? (1-520): It sounds like you dont need me to answer that. http://tfl.nu/xsv7

Replies (8) Good night (5790) Bad night (1392)
Favorite
(714): View more from California

Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(714): Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww http://tfl.nu/e98y

Replies (13) Good night (3957) Bad night (1403)
Favorite
(648): View more from

Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(648): Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me. http://tfl.nu/1al0

Replies (5) Good night (1331) Bad night (651)
Favorite
(416): View more from Toronto

Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?

(613): View more from Ontario

you're kidding right?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(416): Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow? (613): you're kidding right? http://tfl.nu/5c4n

Replies (9) Good night (2873) Bad night (693)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts http://tfl.nu/16ua

Replies (9) Good night (476) Bad night (1005)
Favorite
(806): View more from Texas

There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(806): There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night. http://tfl.nu/26q0

Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (1029)
Favorite
(801): View more from Utah

Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?

(309): View more from Illinois

No idea. And yes be here at 4

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(801): Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding? (309): No idea. And yes be here at 4 http://tfl.nu/o72l

Replies (10) Good night (2259) Bad night (712)
Favorite
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(306): I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee. http://tfl.nu/xuxq

Replies (1) Good night (776) Bad night (358)
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up. http://tfl.nu/br5b

Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (277)
Favorite
(323): View more from California

I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(323): I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today? http://tfl.nu/ws7y

Replies (2) Good night (670) Bad night (341)
Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description. http://tfl.nu/86v9

Replies (3) Good night (412) Bad night (326)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: