Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
