all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
