Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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