i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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