it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He has the fingertips of a God
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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