I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
