this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
