Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm both gender and math confused
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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