I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
