I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think I am morally bankrupt
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
