your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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