I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
