i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
