good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
