there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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