What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
