You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
