I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
