and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
