New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
