sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
