threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
