I looked at my own cervix.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
