She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
