I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
