I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
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Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
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ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.