I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
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It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
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My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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