i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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