Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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