i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
