Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
