So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
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This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
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Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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