i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
