I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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