Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
