yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
