is your mom at the bar?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
