Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
