she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
