It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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