My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
