I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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