i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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