I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
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So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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