dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He shit in the fireplace
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
