I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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