Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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