is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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