Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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