its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
No subtext here. People are naked.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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