i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
