i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
