its not stalking. its research.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
